Do not want to kill people. My story

When I first faced this problem, as well as the dominant very loyal attitude to it in the society, I couldn't help, but asked myself a question. Why do we live, like nothing happened, knowing, that the price of our tranquility is the fear of violence that we evoke in people, and the very violence itself – cruel, bloody, inhuman? Why does not it worry and hurt us?

Hi! My name is Alexander, I am the author and editor of, the first e-magazine in Russian language, devoted to nonviolence and it's ultimate meaning. How to stop to be in need and to take part in the general crime – threats, murders and mutilating of people..

I would like to warn my readers, this is a journal of a student, and not a teacher. I study nonviolence and share my experience with you – successful and not successful. This is why your clever and constructive comments are very welcome.

How did my story started? At some point, I realized, civilians do not exist. Anyway, I definitely do not belong to them. That is why any further, I will speak only for myself.

I am a killer. Every day of my tranquility and peaceful life, I kill people or threaten them with a murder. No, not personally and not with my own hands: I keep special people for this, who do this job for me. How? For the “external enemy” - it is army, intelligence services and others, for “internal enemy” - it is police, special services, etc. Thus, as soon as I contribute personally to their provision, I become, as a minimum, a passive accessory in bloody violence and threats, and as a maximum, I become it's full participant.

But in fact, there is such a thing, as rejection of murder (nonkilling). It is not pacifism, not religious fanaticism. or anything like that. It is the first step to the true nonviolence. I realized, that I cannot ignore this overly high price of my tranquility: threats and murders of people. I realized, that this mechanism immediately cheapens all my “peaceful” and well-maintained lifetime. I realized, I want to explore how to avoid being in need of this and taking part in it, how to stop ensuring my safety and the safety of those, who are next to me, by fear and death of others. Here and now, in my own life, without expectation of the global changes in the society.

What do I have to do to archive this?

First part, “to avoid being in need of”, is pretty clear, - is to develop yourself. Change yourself, accept with peace your close and faraway neighbors, give up dependance on the results of work of others, which they are ready to defend with weapons in hands. It is difficult, it takes long time and it is expensive, and, in my case, it often looks as “one step forward, two steps back”, but it is possible.

Second part, “do not take part in”, turned out to be more complicated, because it is merely impossible not to participate in murders, when you are compelled by law to pay army and police from the each purchase of milk or bread you make, and military service is obligatory.

Nevertheless... I don't want anyone to be afraid of me. I have my right not to kill people. Moreover, it is not only my right, I MUST stop being in need of it, and to participate in the bloodshed.

I am absolutely sure, a person can stop violence in his life as much, as big are his wishes to do it.

Let's learn the NONVIOLENCE together!


The complete russian version of this article is here:

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